Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You made out with two different species that night
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
