the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
