I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How's work?
Spinning.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The Olympian is in my bed
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
