I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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