They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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