just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
