WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He better not be in your backpack
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
