just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im holly from the hills drunk
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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