i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
