Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize