hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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