walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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