i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
