You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize