I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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