you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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