Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
