we have officially lost it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I party with great urgency now.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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