Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
How's work?
Spinning.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
