I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
