i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
