I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
