Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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