i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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