My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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