what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
