doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
