I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
