so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
