There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
