If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
