Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you had me at cake vodka
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
40s are totally the cure
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
