If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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