Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
