this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
