I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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