my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
