Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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