i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
