he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
