I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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