is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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