Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
