The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
