How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Houston, we have a blender
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
