you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
