I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
