Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Send help, water and tortillas.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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