Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
