he wants to bone in the snuggie
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
