Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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