He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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