3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
