you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
