Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
