If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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