i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
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