there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
