please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
