If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
