But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
