I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
